‘Feeling Shame’ Isn’t the Same as ‘Being Shamed’ by Jamie Cole

'Feeling Shame' Isn't the Same as 'Being Shamed' by Jamie Cole

Brene Brown brilliance, “Being held accountable for racism and experiencing shame about that, is not the same as being shamed about racism.” Ahhh, I have so much respect for those individuals that can take incredibly complex ideas, and explain or teach them in a way that is fundamentally understandable to the masses.

Making the distinction between feeling shame and being shamed completely changed my life a few years ago. Learning about the power of being vulnerable, and allowing myself to find strength in those vulnerable moments has given me the gift of personal growth and development by leaps and bounds.

It only makes sense that this concept would come back again as I’m learning and growing in a space that feels vulnerable and scary, while trying to be a responsible advocate and ally for my fellow human beings. It is my responsibility to learn where I have done harm, what I can do to be better, and how I can be a better ally for black people. If my feelings get hurt in the process, or I feel shame about something I learn, that DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE PERSON DOING THE TEACHING IS SHAMING ME. Knowing this allows us to open our ears, put on our big girl pants, and wade through the mud to get to the change.


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