Giving and Getting
This week our beloved Dorcas Austin wrote a Social Media post that we just HAD to share! Thank you Dorcas for your amazing presence in our community and in the world!
People can’t give you what they’ve never received. So let them off the hook and grab it yourself.
Last year I told my natural doctor about some issues I was having digesting dairy and soy.
The doctor said, “You may not have the enzymes to digest these foods.” She then asked, “Were you breastfed as a baby?” I said emphatically, “Yes!”
I thought I was out the gate until she asked, “Was your mother breastfed as a baby.”
I said, “Hold up!” My mother being breastfed almost 75 years ago has nothing to do with me having the enzymes to enjoy a latte. ?
So I asked, “What does that have to do with anything?”
She looked at me and so plainly said, “Well your mother couldn’t give you what she didn’t have.” I couldn’t say anything.
I knew this was significant but I wasn’t ready to receive it. It made sense but it was so bizarre.
The response stayed with me.
We seek so much out in life. We want to be unconditionally loved, nurtured, and cared for.
Many look to parents, significant others, and friends. Then we get upset when we come back empty.
We blame people for not showing up for us, caring for us, or loving us enough. But are we asking these people to give us something they never received?
We should ask those in our lives, “When was the last time you felt cared for, nurtured, and unconditionally loved?” If they have not, then we have our answer. ?
How can someone love you who has never been loved? How can someone care for you if they’ve never been cared for themselves?
What if instead of looking for unconditional love, care, and support from others, we decide to give it to ourselves?
Perhaps this would look like putting ourselves first, not dismissing our wants and desires, not diminishing ourselves, and not playing small. ?
Then we can let go of the resentments. We can free those people in our lives who disappointed us. And we can fully embrace who we truly are.
Our first responsibility is to love ourselves then we can let that ❤ flow to those around us.
Dorcas Austin is a Member of the One Love Choir at Oneness CSL
April 07, 2021